We wrote last time about leaving a “legacy” for our children and grandchildren, a
capstone on our look at parenting. Woodson
detailed his desire to bequeath to his offspring a legacy of “character” and
“financial freedom.” Now, Rob and Henry
weigh in. Both view the issue
differently from Woodson and from each other.
Still, we see commonality in our three approaches to this concept. Judge for yourself the particulars.
Rob’s Thoughts Woodson’s insistence on leaving a “legacy” for his children
forced me to think about what I will leave mine. I find his “character” and “financial
freedom” objectives laudable goals. I
don’t use the same words, but I see similarities in what I want to leave my
children and what he seeks to leave his.
I look at
this issue along an intangibles-to-tangibles continuum. What intangible
qualities and attributes did I try to instill and what real assets can I
leave? I’ve tried to give my children a
lengthy list of intangibles, but much work remains on the tangible part.
I have five
children from two marriages. At the
intangible end of the spectrum, my wives and I sought to provide our children
experiences and education that promoted good judgment, developed analytical and problem solving capacity, taught writing,
speaking, and computational skills permitting high level professional
performance, and inspired intellectual curiosity leading to freedom of thought.
We also tried to inculcate moral, ethical, and spiritual values that enhance
justice and equality in a free society.
My wives and
I devoted substantial time and treasure to these objectives. We spent
significantly on travel, sports experiences, books, cultural activities, and,
of course, formal education. Each child
earned a degree from a reputable university.
With considerable evidence now in, it appears we succeeded. All five demonstrate, at some level of
competence, the listed skills and generally adhere to the values we
promoted. It seems I am leaving my children
a meaningful legacy of intangibles.
The tangible
side of the ledger is another matter. Given where I started in life
economically – no real wealth, just an ability to earn a good income – leaving
a financial legacy of real assets required a level of saving and investment
success I never achieved. In truth, I have little wealth to leave my children.
The money got spent giving them the experiences and education needed to acquire
the intangibles. I sometimes regret
spending, saving, and investment decisions I made that, if decided differently,
would likely have changed this situation.
Woodson
reminded me the fat lady hasn’t sung yet.
He’s pointed out that I retain an ability to acquire financial assets I
can leave my children. Time will tell if
he’s correct, but his assessment offers hope and a reason to keep working. I have, in fact, heard many stories of people
achieving late life economic success. Because opportunity remains, I get up
every day and keep trying.
Henry’s Thoughts The consideration of a gift to leave my children and
grandchildren leads to an intense examination of what I value most.
I believe I
have moved toward recognizing the beauty and glory of existence in this world
and the beauty and glory of this world accompanied by an appreciation and
gratefulness for this recognition.
Because we
perceive life as so short and fleeting we seem to look toward what lies ahead and
spend time preparing for where we wish we were. We always seek a better
place--we crave what we do not have.
I believe we
can push and plan for a better world while appreciating and enjoying the
present--valuing each breath and what it brings. I believe this leads to appreciating
each life on earth and working every day in whatever big or small way to
enhance the lives of others, even if only to make one individual smile.
Overwhelmingly
wonderful peace can come from these realizations. I would like to leave my
children a path toward this peace.
It may lead
to an "ordinary" life as some see it, or to fame and fortune, but to
exist without regret and at peace with that existence could represent the
ultimate life can offer. I wish to leave my offspring a legacy of daily life
that causes them to examine this path. I suppose I want to leave them balance.
COLLECTIVELY SPEAKING Our three approaches
to legacy offer a window into the practical and the ideal on parenting. All of us want to leave our children
something practical (i.e., “financial freedom”) and something that addresses
higher ordered needs and dreams (i.e., “intellectual curiosity”). But, because we see the value in both,
Henry’s concept of “balance” ultimately could serve as a touchstone for what we
want to leave our children. They will
lead better lives if we can leave them both the practical and the ideal.
YOUR TURN!
No comments:
Post a Comment