THE WONDER OF FRIENDS: Friendships and Restoring Broken Relationships

Today we explore friendship, its dimensions, its value, its wonders. All three of us cherish one another’s friendship immensely and share enriching and enlightening friendships with numerous others. We begin with Henry’s remembrances of lifetime friendships.

Henry -- How marvelous are friends

Often, in the rat race of life, we forget friendships that extend to our early years and how they make life so much more than mere existence. As a kid, I promised myself I would remember a special time I wrote about much later:

We didn’t know

We would remember

We didn’t know

How special it was

We didn’t know

It was the best time ever

Not knowing the simplicity

Of thoughts forever

Not understanding the complexity

Of memories forever

Three kids sat on an old shed roof

Breathing the freshest air ever

Carrying a future that we never ---

Never caring of forever

I remembered this description in June 2017 as my train pulled slowly out of Washington’s Union Station, headed for New Haven, Connecticut with my 1963 Yale freshman roommate. Neither of us could contain our excitement about our 50^th year class reunion.

 

“Jones,” Mike asked, “what are the odds of two people meeting 50 plus years ago at the beginning of college, remaining friends, and traveling together like this now?”

“Not great,” I replied, leaning forward in my seat and looking over at him. “I’m not sure how we got here.”

His eyes widened and he spread his arms. “Even our wives have become close. And remember, there’s Norman and George and their wives.”

“It’s amazing,” I said. “And wonderful.”

George and Mike roomed together later. We all remained friends, convening from time to time for momentous occasions in our own lives and in the life of the world, as when we shared Barak Obama’s inauguration.

As my career – college at Yale, political work in Little Rock, law school at Michigan, clerkships in Little Rock and Duluth, practice and the bench in Little Rock – unfolded, Mike remained a constant presence. Neither his service in the Navy nor his work in New York and Washington broke the bond we formed beginning in 1963.

We also came to know each other through family. I stayed in touch with Mike through his dad. When I called to locate him, his father gave me his new number, saying, “You need to call that boy.” He understood our friendship and recognized the need we had to stay in touch. He knew we’d be there for each other.

Mike was with me the only time in my life I was ever intoxicated, as I reacted badly to the breakup with my fiancée. Years later, he was with me and my sister-in-law as my wife underwent surgery in Little Rock while I struggled to find a flight home.

Then there are friends from elementary and high school who’ve helped me remain connected with my formative years. We made special journeys together to celebrate one another’s achievements -- like the trips to change-of-command ceremonies for a classmate as he took charge of two naval vessels. Another special friend from high school informs us of the accomplishments and needs of our classmates, providing a link that keeps us greater than the sum of our parts.

The train ride helped me appreciate how continuing, caring relationships – friendships – can buoy and invigorate us as we deal with life. They represent real power. In fact, they keep things real.

Rob – Friends for all seasons    

I divide my life into eras – childhood, broadcasting, politics, law practice – as a way of reminding myself of what this journey has been like. In each part, there’ve been friends who defined the era and made it meaningful. Thinking of those friends makes me acknowledge I did very little alone. I should always give thanks for those who’ve been part of this trip.

 

I haven’t stayed in touch with all of them. Few people do that as well as Henry, and my circumstances differed. I grew up in many places, not one, as he did. Attending commuter colleges made developing friendships harder during that time. Still, in everything I’ve done, friends made the trip easier.

I’ve learned it’s never too late to form meaningful friendships. Some of my greatest pleasure now derives from time I spend playing golf with four sixty-and seventy-somethings I’ve bonded with in the last five years. Henry is right. Friendships buoy and invigorate us. They not only keep things real, they are real.

Woodson – Perhaps I can go home

I’ve devoted much of my adult life to making a living and less to making a life. I spent my time practicing law, engaging in politics, and otherwise advancing my career. I didn’t remain connected with important friends from childhood. But, I’ve now learned a different way.

During the most difficult time of my professional life, facing loss of a career and financial security, John, a childhood friend, offered, “You can always come home.”  Tyrone, another childhood friend, invited me to the Conway County NAACP’s Frank W. Smith Freedom Fund Banquet as guest speaker. There, grade school and high school friends – a basketball teammate, two puppy loves -- enveloped me.

John’s willingness to reach out during that difficult time, Tyrone’s invitation to speak at the banquet, and the reception I received told me one can “come home.” Like too many things in life, with friends there’s usually no do-over.  Friends, though, can make it feel so. I have friendships from college, law school, and my professional years I want to reinvigorate. I’m going to work on it, one at a time.